As I look back at 2011, I found this thing on community I wrote over a year ago. I think it still applies as much now as it does now. It's so cool to see how I have become a part of the community that I found myself describing and wanting a year ago. I have found such great friendships that are open, honest, and encouraging. I hope this post challenges you to think about your role in community and being vulnerable with others.
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The church is not a place people can be real. It’s a place to go and put on a face and act perfect. Pastors cover up sins because if they are found out, they will be made to resign. People don’t want to open up because they’re afraid of people’s reactions because they’ve seen how people react in the past. I hate it, but yet I’m a part of it. I genuinely want an authentic community of believers, be often I find that I have a judgmental spirit. I’m not willing to open up, which is another key ingredient to an authentic community.
This is a serious problem. Christians look nothing like the Christ we claim to follow. We look nothing like the early church. If I were to describe the early church in one word, that word would be POWER. The disciples healed and the church grew in number daily. No matter how much the Roman Empire tried to ignore the church, they could not. The church was that powerful, not because of their own strength, but because of the Holy Spirit. Today, I would describe the church as fearful. It’s almost as if honesty has been seen as a plague. I’m sure that we’ve all had a pastor or heard of a pastor who has “been asked to leave” because of some issue in their life. While I don’t condone sin in the leadership, I think the church should be more willing to forgive. Maybe instead of trying to hide it, the pastor would then be free to be vulnerable, tell his congregation he is struggling and they can follow his example.
Something happened about a year ago that really impacted me. I was on my second mission trip to the Dominican Republic. We were at Juan Santos Church, which is an absolutely phenomenal church that changed my whole view on worship. That night, my Bible teacher taught on Psalm 51. He talked about David’s sin with Bathsheba and how repentant he was. After the service, the pastor gets up. No one on the team knew what was going on, because no one knew enough Spanish, but this is what we later found out happened: Pastor Juan gets up and explains to the congregation and his family that he was in an inappropriate relationship (but not to the point of an affair) with a woman who he had been counseling. Rumors had been swirling around about this, and people had left the church because of this. He was willing to take the consequences. He knew that he might have to step down. What happened next was really, really amazing. The elders stood up. One by one they walked up and hugged the pastor. They said that they forgave him. Wow. FORGIVENESS. They said that he had been their pastor for a long time and they were going to help and support him. Many in the congregation also came up and hugged him and reaffirmed what the elders had said.
This event really changed my perspective. I think there are two very important things for all believers can be taken away from this. First: the person in leadership was willing to be honest, but he didn’t expect to get away without consequences. He was willing to deal with the consequences of his actions. Second: The congregation showered their pastor with love and forgiveness. I’m sure this church has had some very trying times, but they were willing to walk through it as a body of believers, all broken, finding their strength and Christ.
We all need people in whom we can confide. No one is meant to be alone. We need to acknowledge our own weaknesses and view the struggles of others in love, building them up and encouraging them. I’m not saying this is an easy goal. Before the church becomes this community, individuals must be willing to be open and honest. We are real people with real struggles. Be honest with those around you. I think that’s how the church is supposed to be. Once we are open about our sin, it allows other people to come alongside us, and encourage us. The funny thing is, once we are willing to do this, we find people who are dealing with the same sins as us. There is something powerful about not being alone. Just as God saw that it was not good for man to be alone, I don’t think that it’s good that we are alone with our sin. We need others to help us, others to push us towards God’s design for each of our lives.
Is it painful? Absolutely. Being vulnerable isn’t easy. It’s allowing others to see who you truly are, how broken you are, but also allowing them to love you in spite of your shortcomings. There will be people who turn up their noses and shun you for what you’re going through. God’s not done working on them either. One of my professors said that those people who just rub us the wrong way, the people we can’t stand, are the people who are most like ourselves. We see our own faults and shortcomings in the other person and can’t stand it.
Find at least one person who you can be completely honest with. I don’t think any of us need anyone to point out of sins, because each of us are painfully aware of what we struggle with. However, we all need someone to encourage us, to pray with us and for us, and to call us out in love in the times where we can’t see past our own stupidity.
How about you? Do you have a relationship like this? If not, what keeps you from having a relationship like this?
